also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
