You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
