I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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