I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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