were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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