They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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