You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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