The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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