thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
