Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
