You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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