just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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