She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
