I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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