no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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