I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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