Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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