I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
