glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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