Swine flu. Run for my life!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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