don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My hand turned me down
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
