batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
