Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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