He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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