I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
