My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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