Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
