I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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