Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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