I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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