Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
