talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Small penises have feelings too.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
