First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
