so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Houston, we have a squirter
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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