Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
