well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
