Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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