I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize