Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
