He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
