Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
