Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
we're so committed to being not committed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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