I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
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