It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize