Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
