Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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