What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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