just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
