Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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