Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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