boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
wow bdsm is so cute
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
