I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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