I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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