Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
