genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
