don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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