Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Mom said you looked used
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
