i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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