I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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