dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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