She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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