i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I would ride that face into the sunset
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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