theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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