My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
