Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
