i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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