there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
