I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
