Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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