I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
