people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
