Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Are we still banned from the library?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
