i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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