the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
