Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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