can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
