I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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